Ali | What do you do when your kids say they hate you?

So I was having one of those mornings yesterday where I neglect my own needs- meaning my teeth, my own personal hygiene to get the kids ready for school. And my 9 yr old asked me to go get her socks, to which I said “get your own socks”- as I was half-naked holding a can of dog food myself. She said “I hate you, Mom.” Now I don’t know how many of you have been dealt that blow. But, “I hate you” – those are strong words. And I had that moment when I didn’t know if I should go fetal and cry because I didn’t want her to see me vulnerable. Because usually snakes can sense when their prey is weak. Then I thought I would get mad and say, “I hate you too”, but that seemed very Joan Crawford to me and it didn’t seem like the right way to go. And I was literally dumb-founded and stuck. How do you respond to a kid saying “I hate you”? Because they don’t really mean they hate you. It’s shock. It’s their little Howard Stern version of getting people to pay attention. So I said to her, “Fine. You’re going to school now. And do you want the last thing you say to me to be “I hate you”? Because what if I’m hit by a bus and I die?” Dark? Maybe – yes maybe a dark way to go. But I wanted her to think about words that she chooses in her own life. (That, by the way, had no affect on her whatsoever. The idea of me getting killed by a bus was like- whatever, what’s for lunch?) But I would really like to know how other people deal with this? Because it actually kept me awake nights – the idea that my child would say “I hate you”. I don’t like the word “hate” in general (except for a few people, who I can’t name)- but I just don’t like the word “hate” in my house. So when they say “I hate YOU” – it’s a Molotov cocktail of emotions for me. So you can Twitter me and tell me how you dealt with it. (She no longer lives with me – just P.S.)

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