Okay, this is for all the Babble girls. Our first date, I did not play by the rules.
I was staying with a friend of mine and she kept saying, “Tell him you’re busy! Tell him you’re going out with Prince Albert of Monaco.” So of course, George called me and said, “Are you free tomorrow night?” and I said “Yeah, I’m free tomorrow night. I’m free tonight. I’m free all week.” I didn’t know that that meant I was easy. So anyway, he picked me up and we went to a bar in downtown New York called Pete’s Tavern. And here’s my little secret- I don’t drink. Because I have a very very very low tolerance to alcohol, like my mother. My mother will have half a glass of wine and sing the whole album of The Pirates of Penzance. And you have to sit and watch. So I don’t ever, ever drink because I get so drunk after two sips….
George and I go to the bar and I wanted to seem cool because I didn’t want to order a Shirley Temple on our first date. So I got a gin and tonic. That sounded very grown up to me. He got his fancy something on the rocks with a twist of something. And I drank the whole thing with a straw- I guess I shouldn’t have done that. I think you’re supposed to hold your cocktail, but I drank the whole gin and tonic in about 5 seconds. And I was drunk. I looked at George and said “You want to kiss me don’t you?” And he went, “Oh, uh, sure.” So… we went outside. We had a little make-out session. And then as he was taking me home in the car, I went into a whole monologue about how, “like, I know that eventually, um, you’re going to see me naked. I just want to tell you a few things. First of all, I have ALOT of cellulite. Second of all, I’m not great in bed. I’m okay- but I’m not great. So… just lower the bar a little bit.” I said…”You may notice a very long hair on my nipple… and that’s hereditary and… I will never pull it out. And I’ve got nasty breath in the morning. I just want you to know those four things, so that we’re good when you finally see me naked.” This is what I chose to say to him on after first date when he dropped me off. He kissed my hand. Needless to say… I got a second date.
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